Which results in, living nowhere.
I have been that way ever since moving to Minnesota, and in important ways before that – from premature birth to stuttering to family troubles even before Fred left and Granpa died and Mom retreated, all of which went into shaping the apocalypse that was Minnesota, itself a process over a dozen or so years
In the aftermath of exodus, around age 15, 16 got pretty hard
Then 17, 18, 19 were even worse
By 20, a different person – a transformation from roots to present life, into a person it felt right to try to be, in that world – though I still didn’t fully like that world, so living in it required a partial, misshaped me
Then, at 25, moving to a different world opened up the process of continued transformation, but still shaped profoundly by that long apocalypse
Steven Pavlos Holmes, Ph.D. 