No real expectations or heritage to uphold, only inchoate private hopes or public dreams, at most a general longing to be a part of something, something important, something good and right and life-giving – But not even much real energy for that, it ebbs and flows and ebbs, so that the everyday reality is more … More Just doing what I gotta do to get by –

Nothing heavy, not the oppressive expectation of constantly living in joy, or even occasional joy when encountering a promoted object – Just being awake, alive, lively, present, pleasant, relatable, curious, playful, creative

I mainly existed then in the to-be, but as a real existence, what I then and there was – coming to be

(and before that, the Ottomans and the Mongols, the Bulgarians and the Slavs, and Greeks and the Romans, the Cimmerians and the Scythians, the Kurgan cultures and the domesticators of the horse, the Gravettian Venus-worshippers, the Aurignations and the Mousterians – oppressors of the people all )

By its nature, adult existence revolves around either worlding in the world, or worlding in the womb And the first world in the world was breast And the second was the eyes And the heartbeat and the warmth and the voice and the softness continue as bedrock from within the womb, now bedrock of worlds, … More The breast is the first world outside of the womb