Notice what I AM doing, and try to appreciate and be glad for that
I’ve had, and am still having, a beautiful and interesting life, with myself in an overall positive and helpful role A life to be glad for
I could have been a professor or scholar of the history of erotica in Western culture
Including evolution and biology of the erotic, Ethologies of Eros, religious erotica (or the religious erotic), the Ages of Eurotica, history of Anglo-American erotica and erotics, comparative eroticas (e.g. South Asia, Indian influence on early high British erotica and erotic consciousness, etc)
This isn’t my world. I don’t want to live here. I refuse living here.
Which results in, living nowhere. I have been that way ever since moving to Minnesota, and in important ways before that – from premature birth to stuttering to family troubles even before Fred left and Granpa died and Mom retreated, all of which went into shaping the apocalypse that was Minnesota, itself a process over … More This isn’t my world. I don’t want to live here. I refuse living here.
It’s not too late for me to do something in the world
But it’s an open question What could I do? My capacities in the world, and in myself What should I do? What will I do
You’ve just got to do what needs doing to make the best of things
Which still just asks me, What will I choose FOR?
Be of good cheer, is still what comes to the surface first Be of good cheer Prepare a face to meet the faces that you meet From the mother onward – from your first glimpse of yourself reflected in your parents eyes – and even more, your own love for your parents’ faces, and your … More Which still just asks me, What will I choose FOR?
Existential reality has become boring
Been there, done that I’ve been living the truth of the moment long enough that it’s become mundane – who gives a shit Is that all there is, my friend?
Studies I have Known
A description of a fictionalized, or rather third-person, scholar/writer/intellectual’s actual physical studies/offices, and how they worked and what they meant to him – and of the intellectual studies that he conceived in those places, both completed works and current work in progress, and germ-ideas for future books or projects